The Perfect World-vs-The Real World

My email to my husband...


As I was standing outside in my long flowing skirt, breathing the fresh morning air with the sun rising at my back I was happy for the day.

Your car rolled out of the garage and I saw your window go down.

For an instant flicker in my mind I saw you smile and heard you say "You look beautiful in the morning."


Instead you said, " Don't forget it's trash day."


Sigh...ten years of marriage...

This is why I love Brant.

.

I came across this picture today.

.

This was taken on a Saturday or Sunday morning while I was sleeping in.

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Brant was up with the kids and prepared this breakfast for Eva.

She must have asked for a monkey.

.

Oh the joy of such a happy breakfast plate for a happy child!

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Yes, he's quite a pleaser.

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He's such a good dad.

.

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Say Cheese or NOT!

Hey guys, look at this gorgeous sunset tonight.

I think the lighting is just perfect to get a good picture of all three of you kids.

How about you poliwogs come over here in front of the sunset so we can get a nice picture of you.

Really? Come ON!!!

Just one nice picture and you can go back to your

goofy crazy selves, deal?

So I get the twins over in front of the pretty sunset, that's a start.

There's Peanut Pie with her infamous rabbit ears.

It's always either the rabbit ears or the peace sign.

You can see it's getting a little darker. Time is running out.

Soph jumps in, "It's okay Mom, I'll handle this!"

as Joey is goin' in... Eva's fightin it, (while laughing the whole time.)

And he plants a big wet sloppy brotherly smooch on her head.






Sophie's now frustrated. "They're 'noring me!" she says.






Now when they are by themselves just hanging out I can get a really good shot.

See here?

Eva's all cute (with her peace sign) smiling nicely.








And Joey too. "Hey Joe- look over here!"

"No problem Mom!"

And finally Sunny is as cute as a button,

smiling with every fiber in her face.

Sigh...............................................

Oh well.

Now it's too dark. My perfect picture just didn't happen. My mission was foiled.

Those kids, too nutty to sit still and smile nice for

one stinkin minute....

Is that really too much to ask?

Geez!

another sigh....

Well,


The moral of the story is...

Even though I didn't get my perfect picture, the reason behind it is way more fun and justifyable.

My kids, my highly spirited, fun loving,

crazy kids

could not sit still

because they were being just that.

AND

We did manage to get this decent family picture.

Win-win if you ask me.

Gabby Cat

This is Gabby

She was rescued from a raid at a crackhouse somewhere around the Detroit area.

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It was sometime in 2007.
.

She was pregnant at the time.

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She didn't quite look like this when we adopted her.

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She had just had her litter of kitties about 8 weeks prior and she was nothing but black and white skin and bones with swollen teets from nursing her babies.
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She allowed all three of my children to pick her up, carry her like a baby and handle her in any way they did so choose. She loved the attention.
.

So we brought her home, we had plenty of love for her too.
.

Within three months she ballooned to three times her size. I mean, does it really matter? She's a cat. She's now a big fat happy healthy cat.

.

Except we now have a slight problem.

Now that Gabby has become big and healthy,

she no longer feels the need to groom her backside.

She has long fur you know.

Clumps get stuck back there and she smells like a barnyard.

It's gross.

We have to have her shaved down every once in awhile so the stink goes away.

.

.

Regardless of her Smelly Cat Syndrome, we love her.

.

We like to sing that song Smelly Cat, you know, from that episode of Friends?

.

And she continues to think she is

Super fancy royalty

who graces us with her presence in this household.

Summertime rolls

Have I really not posted ALL summer?

.

Nothing?

.

Not one?

.

What have we been doing all summer?

.

Let's think here----hmmm....oh, wow, lots of stuff really:

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1.) a trip to San Francisco for Mommy
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2.) a delightful visit to the pool, boy I love summer!
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3.) Daddy's birthday
.
4.) frolicking in the neighborhood pool
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5.) A dentist appointment for all three kids, that takes half a day and then some...
.
6.) swimming at the pool, (never been fond of pool bathrooms)
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7.) consecutive appointments for Lola- puppy vaccinations
.
8.) splashing at the pool
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9.) a wedding reception
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10.) splashing Mommy in the FACE at the POOL
.
11.) the summer bbq that our little Schneider gang now participates in annually
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12.) lugging rafts, towels, and cooler to the POOL only to have to carry it all out again WET!
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13.) a high school graduation
.
14.) the darn POOL AGAIN!
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15.) a trip to the Lake of the Ozarks- (woo hoo more water)
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16.)how many times do I have to yell, "WALK PLEASE!" when we go to the pool?
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17.) hanging at the skate park
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18.)you all better help me lug all this pool stuff back to the car or I'm gonna....
.
19.) summer classes, Monkey Bizness, pool, slip and slide with neighbor kids, pool, ice cream truck treats, pool, 4th of July party, cousens visit,pool, lemonade stands, picnic lunch at the dog park, play dates
.
20.) AND, have I mentioned the POOL? the gosh darn flippity flippin pool???
.

just checking

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Man.

Are you worn out?

I am.

Today we had pre registration for the twins to start third grade. There is a light...

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However, I DO enjoy having their company during the day.

.
I DO enjoy laying in bed till about 8:00-8:30, 9 if I want...

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instead of having to wake to an alarm begging me to jump up at 7am to wake the kids, pack lunches, make breakfast, sign the forgotten permission slip, frantically search for a missing shoe as the bus is pulling up, and then kiss them all out the door.

.

And then there will be silence.

.

Quiet.

.

I have forgotten what that is like.

.

Bet it is nice.

.

Believe it or not?...

.

Bet I'll miss the pool.

Where DOES the time go?

The twins 8th birthday.

My oh my.
Where has the time gone?

Where oh where?

It seems like yesterday I was wearing a milk and snot splattered nursing shirt.

Two days ago I was exhausted from the millionth pediatrician appointment.

Last week I was clipping coupons for Pampers and checking our bank account to make sure we could afford them.

I remember vividly shushing and calming one baby while rocking the other in a bouncy seat on the floor with my foot?

Wasn't it last night that I only got two solid hours of sleep?

Several times I was searching frantically for a "bobby" aka a pacifier for a crying baby, or babies for that matter.

Didn't I just get that snuggly sack in which to place one baby while holding the other on my hip?

Doesn't it feel like I was just smashing up a banana and dividing it among two bowls?

Hmm....

spit up, snot, poo, mama milk, baby laundry, drool, teething

times two.

Nope....

It wasn't yesterday, or last week.

And now look at them...

Yep..............................................

They just turned 8 YEARS old!

.

...this past Saturday May 2nd.

Who'd have thought I was told these twins had a 50/50 chance of making it through the night?

Who'd have thought that upon their birth they weighed less than three and a half pounds COMBINED?

Can you believe they spent THREE MONTHS in a neonatal intensive care unit?

It's true.

Every bit of it.

And now here they are, living proof that miracles DO happen.

And I was the lucky one to be so blessed.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVA!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEY!

You are loved more than you'll ever know!!!

New Orleans

Upon arrival into New Orleans we had a pleasant airport shuttle leading us to this beautiful hotel.






Here is a picture of the inside lobby. This hotel served as a hospital during the civil War and then an orphanage and school. There have been rumored ghost sightings around the place, including one of a soldier and another of a young woman.
Unfortunately neither of them showed themselves to us.
However if we were in that frame of mind.... (spooky music cued here)....maybe.....

maybe....next time....


























The first day we arrived we walked up and down the streets.

We noticed this.

Soap and water filled the gutters of Bourbon Street washing away the filth and sin from the previous night.

This was a boutique

right across the street from our hotel.

Quite interesting.

I had never been to a vampire boutique.

Come to think of it, I've never been to a vampire anything.

So this was kinda special,

a first for me, if you will.

If I were a vampire,

I mean, WOW!

this is where I'd buy all my black spiderweb patterned capes.

I did not partake in the ingestion of this particular swine delicasy.


However, in New Orleans, you may also find the likes of this guy.


He's the lucky guy who gets to sell Lucky Dogs, smoke pipes and read the paper all day.
Lucky dogs,
I don't think there's anything lucky about eating one of those dogs.

But that's just me, just my opinion, just throwing it out there...



(I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth just thinking about it.)

Here you go...

In my book---

A large quantity of beer needs no advertisement.

It pretty much sells itself.

Dontcha think?

But nonetheless...

a huge ass sign selling

huge ass beers.

This is our lovely punk rock friend Sean. He has been to New Orleans several times. He popped in half way through our trip and was a very welcomed guest into our party circle. He took us to this bar, called Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop.

It was a very dark piano jazz bar,

Quite an inviting, lovely place .

I would venture to say that it was the best place we visited during our stay.

This is the wall in which there is said to be spirits

lurking about.

Unfortunately they didn't show themselves to us that night, pity.

And just a few party pics here.

This is how Sam looked the whole time

we were in New Orleans.

We stopped at a dance club for a bit.

Just an after-dance-hug.









I think we could play


"Find the Douche Bag"


in this photo.


It's not either of the girls or the guy in the dreds...


But I'm not telling you the answer...




















Oh, wow. What to say here...

This is Sean.

It was nice to see him after so many years.

What a great guy he is.

You single ladies out there???

I said, what a great guy he is!!!

We were neighbors back in the Manhatten days.

And, um, I think we'll be coming up north for a visit some time.













Al, Sean and Matt

A fine group of...

gentlemen?

Naaaa...

but lots of fun to hang with...



















Here is Adem and myself.

Adem and I go way back too.

It was great to see him.

I wish he'd come around

a little more often.

















This is Bernard, Dawn's little brother. I love that cheesy smile he flashed for the camera. It was great meeting him.
And he told some hilarious stories from childhood.
I think they were told right after this picture was taken.
He was full of piss and vinegar, ready to let it spill.

Wyatt Erp?
Nope, Doug.

And, this wasn't one of those places where you pay a bunch of money and get your picture taken all western like.
He happened to be wearing a fake mustache.
And the gun just happened to be there...at the wedding chapel....odd enough.
And he just happened to have the great personality and idea to pull this off.
And I just happend to edit it with my little computer editing program.
It just happened to fit together nicely, huh?


























Here we have Dawn, Terri and John.

These are pre-drinks to get the

party started.


Because pretty soon...

after the sun goes down....

we got some cat calling going on.



It IS Bourbon Street for Pete Sake!



I mean that's just whatcha do, right?




















And when you're up there on the balcony cat calling and whooping it up,




you see all kinds of unusual things.




Things you don't normally see...




such as...




for example...




Oompa Loompa's!


























And sometimes...



If you're really lucky...



you may even see...



Sometimes you may see....




a giant blow up penis!



Hold the applause people, hold the applause!

And then we have the reason we all came, the big event, the highlight of the trip...

The Marriage between Alan and Dawn

It was held at the.....................................

French Quarter Wedding Chapel

This is the cute little chapel where Dawn and

Alan got hitched. It was within walking distance

of our hotel.

We all met in the lobby of said hotel and began

our quarter mile walk

(or however long-that's just my guess)

to the chapel.

It was a lovely day for a wedding.

This is the group shot. The big ol group of misfits,
All the guys in their mustaches,
Some of them real, some of them fake...the mustaches I mean.

What a great group this was to hang with.

I love Bernard's mustache. It was blonde,

A blond mustache on a black man.

Reeeeeal Niiice!!!


So this is when we arrived. The pastor or preacher or whatever you call him sat Al and Dawn down on the comfy little couch to get um... aquainted.
It was nice.
It was sweet.
The rest of us milled about, checking out the old architecture,
the antique furniture,
and listened in to find out this place of business
was once a brothel house.
Who knew???

This guy set the ambiance with his sweet melodies.

Here they are sealing the deal,

Holding her tight,

Ain't it so romantic?






After the wedding,
Dawn got to sign her new name on a dollar bill.
The story goes that the first couple to marry in this chapel
signed a dollar bill and stuck it to the ceiling.
It was the bride's idea. She wanted to sign her married name
for the first time.
A dollar bill was the only paper they had.
She used that and it was tacked up.









Now every couple
(well I assume every couple)
who gets married here, does this.
Hense, all the dolla bills ya--stuck to the ceiling.

Court of Two Sisters

This was a restaurant that I was chopping at the bit to try. A century ago it was a dry goods shop owned by Emma and Bertha Camors and is now a restaurant and jazz bar. This is the little quicky stop "fast food" addition I think.

A classic Gothic story goes:

These two women lived together, neither married,

into their 80's and died within a month of one another.

They are buried side by side.

Eh...This was just the menu.

Big Daddy ordered a beer.
It came in this pitcher.
I wish we would have brought it home.
We could have bathed the baby in it.


And here it was. The best, most anticipated meal of the trip.
(I'm very easy to please.)
Just a bowl of spicy seafood gumbo,
some fresh bread,
and a cold beer.
That's it.
Nothing fancy.
I'm starting to salivate just thinking about it. Mmmm.



It was a little hot. But oh, that first bite of spicy heaven.


And it didn't take long for me to polish off that bowl. And I coulda eaten another one.

As much as I love to eat, I'm a lady. I settled with the one bowl. And the night was young.

We had plenty more liquid beverages to fill up on.


MMM
MMM
MMM
Warm

belly

full

of

New
Orleans

Goodness...

Oh yes. New Orleans goodness, is right here in my belly.

Oh thank you Lord for that nourishment. That delighful tasty dish

that only New Orleans can deliver.



I must sit for a moment



and just



breath.



Mmm.







After the meal was complete it was the only right thing to do.

We complimented the restauranteers
up one side
and down the other.

He was our

BFF

for that

whole

meal.

I'll

never

forget it.

OUR TRIP OFF BOURBON STREET

We started our trip by walking clear down Bourbon Street.

We finally came across this little confectionary shop.


...finally some sweets.


I think that may be my only complaint, where are the sweets on Bourbon Street?


Where's a girl gotta go to get some sugar?



And I mean chocolate, ice cream, cake, sweets

sugar and spice and everything nice.

that's what little girls are made of.

We found it.

This sign was hanging high on the wall:

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing...

~Oscar Wilde

I think I'm a firm believer in this quote.

We hit the St. Charles Street Car and took it to Jackson Ave. From that point we got our and took a self guided tour through the garden district.

This is Anne Rices old home. After her artist husband died, she moved her life to LA.

She was said to have come out

on the balcony

on occasion to say hello

to her fans

gawking,

I mean,

walking by.



I just found this neighborhood full of beautiful antiqued yet classic architecture.

The landscaping was no exception.

Look at this tree.

It has grown over and around, covering

part of this rod iron fence.

Speaking of architecture, this cast iron was everywhere, intricate detailed rod iron, beautifully displayed.

Gorgeous, right?

Then we ventured on to The Layfayette Cemetary.

It was laid out in 1833. It was practically filled within ten years because of epidemics.

Creepy, huh?

Some of Easy Rider was filmed here too.

It looks as if B is...

you know,

urinating on the gate.

I assure you,

he is not.

However, I did make him stand here, so I could get this shot.

The cemetary houses bodies in the above-ground tombs that are trademark to

New Orleans.

Pretty cool, huh?

I'd like to enlarge this picture and frame it

as artwork

from our trip here.


And there you have it..

New Orleans through the eyes of the Mother Blogger herself.

And this commemorated the longest blog I've ever written.

It was a three parter!

SHEW!

(blood, sweat and tears, I tell ya.)